Asymptomatic

A-

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 13:45:24 GMT

I'm atypical,
Just another way of saying,
I'm unique.
An outcast, an expatriate.

I'm asymptomatic,
Just another way not showing,
The sorrow, the love.
Everything.

A.

Can I have some ketchup please?

Sun, 23 Nov 2008 13:58:25 GMT

- I miss you. More than I show, more than you know. What happened? What changed? I yearn for those days that where you could tell me anything. You're lack of words show that you've distanced yourself away from me. And I don't want that.

- Just so you know. Whatever I say, whatever I do, whatever I feel... Whenever you call my name, I will be there. And I will be there running. Waiting. Why? Because I love you. And I was hurt that you even told me that you didn't feel it. Even if it was a joke, it hurt liked hell.

- I appreciate that you have my back. That you are loyal to me. More than I show it, I thank you. Rest assured, I have your back. Always.

- I'm here for you. Let me help. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through right now. But let me be here for you.

- I can't wait for the holiday season. I want us to be together again. Even for just one night. Let us remember how it was to have fun.

- Are we on the same page? You are an important piece of my life. And the fact that we are too busy to even meet once a month makes me sad. I hope for us to be complete. Why can't we commit to at least having dinner once a month? We survived high school and college. I'm sure we can survive this, just let me know that what happens next after surviving is worth it.

- You. I hate you. You told me that you won't fall for her. And look at you now. You can't stop thinking about her. You know how this is going to end, right? Then why did you still do it?

- I hate you too. Why did you have to be so cute and beautiful and nice? Now you're all he thinks about.

Best Kept Secret

Mon, 04 Aug 2008 16:56:11 GMT

You are my promise,
my vow.
I'm falling,
and nobody knows.

And I'm happy.
I'm keeping it all inside.
Letting it stir,
Making it real.

While making this rhyme,
I'm waiting for my time.
You make me smile,
You make it worthwhile.

And nobody knows,
You make me feel this way.
You are,
My best kept secret.

Bye. ^_^

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 14:50:39 GMT

You were my first choice.
I was your last choice.
Hoping this would be changed.
Yet I was caged.

You don't even give me a second chance,
Or a second glance.
I always see you walking out that door,
Wanting no more.

Two can play that game,
I can feel the same.
I used to be drunk from your approval,
Always wanting what I don't have.

But now I'm sober,
Now It's over.
I'm leaving.
And I'm not caring.

Don't get me wrong, You're not losing me.
Because you never had me.
There are no more secrets,
Only painful regrets.

And I'm losing you,
This I say is true.
I'm just here.
Starting to trust who I am.

My final goodbye...
I love you so much.
But I love myself more.
Even more than you.

Secrets and Regrets [Draft]

Tue, 20 May 2008 15:05:41 GMT

I'm tired of caring,
Caring for you.
You don't give a damn,
So why should I?

I'm done talking,
Talking about us.
You never say anything,
So why should I?

I'm quitting,
on us.
I'm quitting,
on me.

I have no more to give,
No more to love.
I'm empty inside,
And I have no one to blame.

Because I gave it all,
to the people I care the most.
And what did I get?
Nothing.

Nothing more than fake smiles,
And lullabies.
And the worst part is,
I fell for it.

Tell me.
Give me a reason.
Because if you don't,
I'm leaving.

Ang boypren mong hindi.

Sun, 11 May 2008 12:01:39 GMT

Sunud-sunuran,
Kaibigan.
Kahit ano gagawin,
Para ng alipin.

Ikaw ang sanhi,
Ng aking mga ngiti.
Ngunit hindi naman ako,
Ang minamahal mong nobyo.

Mahal kita.
Alam mo ba?
Hula ko hindi.
Umaasa ako'y mali.

Sana ako'y pagbigyan,
Ayaw ko maging kaibigan.
Gusto ko ng mas higit pa,
Nais kitang maging nobya.

Dahilan hindi mahanap,
Isang kaibigang ganap.
Walang mangyayari,
Ako ang boypren mong hindi.

Dating Gawi

Sun, 11 May 2008 11:58:39 GMT

Laging ganito,
Mistulang utu-uto.
Dating gawi,
Laging Sawi.

Mahal kita,
At ako'y umasa.
Akala ko iba ka,
Inisip ko ikaw na.

Hindi na natuto,
Walang nagbago
Dating gawi,
Laging sawi.

Ako'y iniwan,
Ngayon ay luhaan.
Natanggal ng saysay,
Gising pero walang malay.

Bumalik sa pinagmulan,
Umuwi ng sugatan.
Dating gawi,
Laging sawi.

Never the One.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:37:55 GMT

I was never the one you liked,
Never the first choice.
The one always left behind,
Standing all alone.

I am never the one you saw,
Whenever you need someone.
Only the friend,
When it's convenient for you.

I'll never be the one you'll love,
Always the distant friend.
The last choice,
The first man out.

I was, am,
And never will be the one.
But I need you to know,
You were always my One.

I Belong.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:34:53 GMT

I belong in your arms,
Where I'd rest blissfully.
I want your touch.
I want to feel more than your skin.

I belong in your heart,
I need to be deep inside your essense,
Your pace,
Your beat.

I belong in your life.
To be a part of you.
I am your everything,
And your nothing.

I belong,
You just don't know it yet.
I'll belong.
I'll be the one.

The Things I Realized When I'm Typsy

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:28:55 GMT

I want to hug you,
I want to be close to you.
For the first time in my life,
I want so badly to be intimate with you.

I want your touch,
The need to feel who you are,
Is killing me.
And I can't do anything about it.

I want to hold you,
and never let go.
For just a moment,
I want you to be mine.

So please,
Let me hold you.
Just this once,
Be mine.

The moment that I let you go,
I will move on.
And this time,
I'll completely let you go.

I do. [draft]

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 13:24:19 GMT

dated 20080413

I see you,
In angles the eyes cannot reach.
I hear you,
Even if you don't say anything.

I know you,
More than what you show.
I feel you,
Even if we don't touch.

I like you,
This you already know.
I care for you still,
EVen if you don't care for me.

I love you,
In ways you do not know
And the sad part is...
You may never know.

I did,
More than you'll ever know.
I do,
I really do.

Why I Write [Draft]

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 01:48:42 GMT

Dated 20080320

Why I write

I write,
not because I want my works to be read,
but because I want to capture,
How I feel.

I write about me.
I write about what's inside.
The good and the bad,
The happy and the sad.

I write,
not about what I experienced,
nor what I endured.
I write what I've felt

I've written all about the heartaches,
the bitterness,
the mistakes,
and the consequences.

These was what it was,
Back then.
And what it is,
right now.

I've written all about the dances,
the fantasies,
the confessions,
and finally, the moment.

These are only figments,
Imagining alternate realities,
of what might have been,
and might be.

It's been so long since I've written something good.
It's been a while...
Because I'm waiting.
Waiting for you.

I'm waiting to be surprised,
For you to come into my life.
I'm standing still,
Ready and sure.

Of everything that I've written,
I'm sure it will never compare,
to that moment.
That moment you become mine.

So, I'm waiting.
I'm ready.
I'm hoping.
I'm Yours.

This is why I write.
This is how I feel.
This is where I am now.
This is who I am.

Let Her

Sun, 09 Mar 2008 14:25:27 GMT

Let Her
20080301

Let her grow,
On her own.
Unrestricted.
Unguided.

Let her decide,
what's wrong and right.
Let her know,
the consequences of her decision.

Let her make mistakes,
Let her learn.
Let her become the person,
the she deserves to be.

Let her stand,
on her own two feet.
Let her walk,
one step at a time.

Let her trip,
and fall down.
Watch and see,
the pain in her eyes.

Let her show,
how she really feels.
The anger,
and the anguish.

Let her cry,
let the tears flow.
Let her do this,
let her cry.

Let her stand,
and see her smile.
She'll be alright.
She will always be.

Let her fly,
like the angel you think she is.
Let her spread her wings,
into the blue yonder

Let her soar,
to the clouds and stars,
where she belongs.
Let her be.

Let her move on,
see her move.
Let her go.
Set her free.

I Almost Loved You.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 07:04:31 GMT

I almost thought,
that you were the one.
That one girl to be with,
that one woman to die for.

I almost knew,
How's it going to end.
Just me and you,
Under the pale moonlight.

I almost saw,
My future with you.
Old and weak,
Happy and together.

I almost heard,
my wedding vows,
Saying your name,
Hearing the words "I do."

I almost felt it.
Your hand locked in mine.
being connected
in more ways than one.

I almost loved you.
and for a while,
I almost hoped
that you loved me too.

Uninspired.

Sun, 21 Oct 2007 09:39:25 GMT

To love.
To work.
To live.
To smile.
To breathe.
To create.
To destroy.
To smile.
To stay.

That's why...
I'm Giving up.
and walking away.
I'm not saying good bye.
You don't deserve to know.
After what you did,
and lack thereof.

I'm not stupid.
I can take a hint.
Let me fade away.
Don't say a word.
It'll just hurt more.

Please.
Don't give me a reason to make me hate you more.

What would you do if you knew?

Sat, 04 Aug 2007 13:37:28 GMT

What would you do if you knew
that you're the reason I'm in pain?
Would you walk away
Just like you always do?

Would you care,
and make it right?
Would you have the strength
to end?

What would you do if you knew
that you're the reason I can smile,
and care, and love,
and hope?

Would you care and smile,
Love and hope with me?
or run and hide,
scared and confused?

What would you do if you knew
that I sing these songs for you?
Hoping someday you might hear
That you've been the melody of my life.

What would you do if you knew
that i write these for you?
Because I'm a coward,
a fool.

A fool that can't tell you,
A coward who can't confess.
A friend who cares,
but a fool nonetheless.

I wonder.
What would you do?
If you only knew
That I love you.

Dear God...

Fri, 03 Aug 2007 15:10:20 GMT

I'm sorry, I'm lost.
I'd like to find the light that you've always gracefully shone upon me to find my way. I want you back in my life. Help me find the way. Help me find the courage.
I know, I'm a sinner.
Perhaps, more than I'd ever known and want to admit. I've been digging my own grave and I'm half buried in my own half truths, and whole lies. Help me forgive. Help me move on. Help me see the world the way You see it.
I've never been lucky, but I've been blessed. Thank you.
When there was despair, You've been my hope.
In all the hate, You've been my love.
In all the delirium, You've been my reality.
You've been there for me.
And I want to here for you.
Now, and until the moment that I take my last breath...
I want it to be for You.

I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I shall be healed.

Chances.

Tue, 24 Jul 2007 14:24:38 GMT

I'd like another chance,
to show you who I am.
No smokes and no mirrors.
Me, simple and true,

I'd like another chance,
to make you see that I've changed.
Stronger than yesterday,
Better all over.

I'd like another chance,
to get to know you more.
No masks and illusions,
You, for you are.

I'd like another chance,
for us to meet again.
Just you and me,
No excess baggage.

I'd like another chance
for all those things.
But I'd like just one chance,
One chance to love you more.

One chance to love.
One chance to prove.
To prove my love.
To prove my worth.

This is all I need.
This is all I want.
Just one chance,
One chance to do it all.

uninspired

Thu, 19 Jul 2007 15:16:07 GMT

Uninspired to write,
uninspired to do,
uninspired to hear,
uninspired to be.
Uninspired.

WALANG MASULAT NA MATINOOOOOOOOOOOO. Walang inspiration. Enge naman diyan baka may sobra kayo. Hahaha.

Thank you.

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 13:40:32 GMT

Thank you for making me realize that I don't deserve you. You made me see that I deserve better - a whole lot better.

Bagong Alaga.

Wed, 20 Jun 2007 23:00:23 GMT

Rejection is Underrated.

Tue, 19 Jun 2007 14:47:26 GMT

No matter how many times in so many ways and limitless reasons I get rejected and from the most shallow reason to the deepest of them all it will hurt and it will hurt bad but I think the more shallow the reason for rejection the more pain it will cause and it bothers me this much because it tells me that a part of what and who makes me is unacceptable to the other person and what hurts the most is the fact that who rejects me is the one that you want to love endlessly but that person won't even let you in and it hurts and it makes me wonder why this is happening all over again since it's all too familiar because only the circumstances are different but the feeling and end result is just the same.

Just the same.
It still hurts.

1732

Sun, 10 Jun 2007 16:52:26 GMT

I stand before you,
unguarded and open,
for you to see,
who i really am.

I stand before you,
not hopeful of the future,
unoptimistic,
of what might happen.

I am not hopeful,
I am not optimistic.
but I am sure.
I am steady.

I love you.
I am sure.
and I don't care what happens next.
I don't mind what they say.

I love you.
I am certain.
and it took me a long time,
but now that time has come.

I promise you my heart,
I promise you my body,
I promise you my soul.
I promise you, me.

Migraines

Thu, 05 Apr 2007 05:18:10 GMT

I never know when, where, how, and why it strikes. Sabi ng doktor pwedeng stress. Sabi ng nanay puyat. Whatever the reason may be, it doesn't change the fact that when it happens, it hurts. A lot.

From experience, I think I have a relatively high tolerance to pain, but my "episodes" always make me curl up in pain. On a good day, a mild migraine would last only around 6 hours, nothing sleep and some paracetamol would cure. But a full-blown migraine will make me hate light, freeze my core but burn me hot as hell, and reject food.

It's a pain so unique, it's hard to describe where exactly it hurts. It's so painful that sometimes, at the peak of the pain, I seriously contemplate the thought of bashing my head on my bedroom wall. But I don't. As Dr. House would say, "... pain makes us make bad decisions, fear of pain is as big a motivator." and bashing one's head would automatically be classified as a bad decision.

I've accepted that this will never go away. I know that there is a part of me that will always be "wrong." But amidst all of the pain, it has taught me something very important - how to deal with it. Not just about migraines, but pain in general.

Life is painful. Pain is a reminder that we are alive. Deal with it.

1st.

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 00:07:11 GMT

"I Love you"
or
I "Love" you
or
I Love "you"

... I want to do the 1st.